Dysfunctional relationships do not cease to exist because you are getting married. You can’t choose your family but you can choose how you react to their particular brand of crazy.
On my own wedding day, I locked myself in the bride’s dressing room for a blissful few minutes alone. My sister was complaining about wearing make-up, my Dad was teasing her about her gussied up appearance, my mom was having a nerves attack. All I remember thinking was, if I didn’t get them out of the room fast I was going to be arrested at my own wedding reception for assault.
Limiting your exposure to people and situations that lead to emotional upheaval is key. If for just this one day, turn the other cheek and a deaf ear.
Number 4– Over tasking yourself and those around you:
You will find during the planning, set-up and day-of the wedding you will need help. But, try not to over-load the people closest to your with too many tasks. The wedding is very important to you and your fiance’. But, the people around you may not be quite as emotionally invested in the event.
If your nearest and dearest to take on everything from designing the flowers to catering the reception you will likely have a passel of pissed off friends and family on your hands by the time you walk down the aisle. You might also find your wedding will not be up to the standard of quality you had hoped. Just because you aunt’s Thanksgiving dinner is scrumptious does not mean she can whip up a reception dinner for 150 wedding guests.
DIY is great, to a point. Just be realistic about the abilities and the extent of the patience of yourself and those around you.
For the most part, people who make their livings servicing the wedding and events industry are hard working, dedicated individuals who work long, often grueling, hours. However, like with any industry, there is the occasional bad apple.
Some warning signs that you may have a less than stellar wedding vendor on your hands: No website, no contract, other wedding professionals have never heard to the individual, long response time to phone calls or e-mails, multiple bad on-line reviews, refuses to supply you with a detailed list of services they are providing for your wedding, pricing is way less than comparable quotes for the same services, high-pressure sales tactics, unwilling to listen to your ideas and vision.
Everyone is looking to save money. The smart bride weighs the quality of service against dollar savings before making a decision that is based solely on price.
The last thing you need to deal with on your wedding day is a no-show photographer or a florist that brings you bouquets that looked nothing like what was discussed.
Number 2– Not Scheduling Enough Time:
You are getting married. This does not mean you exist in a bubble outside of the space and time continuum. Create a time-line and then pad it! If you think it will take an hour to get you hair done, plan for an hour and a half. Things always take longer than you expect.
Traffic can throw a major wrench in your wedding time-line. If you event is taking place in Apple Hill during harvest time or Napa during crush, plan to be stuck in traffic when you travel from where you are getting ready to the wedding site. Additionally, your guests will be stuck in the same traffic. Some other major traffic snafus include: sports games, parades, holiday functions, construction, weather and road closures.
Drum roll please…
Number 1— Unrealistic Expectations of Perfection:
Not to be crude or flippant but, sh*t happens! Repeat after me, “I am a mallard. Cares and worries roll off of me like water rolls off a duck’s back.” Nothing is worth ruining your bliss. You are marrying the person you love. Do not loose site of that.
The peonies in your centerpieces might be a deeper pink than you had envisioned, your wedding cake might have one less tier than you had discussed with the baker, the intricate patterned rose petal pathway might blow away because of unexpected breezes. Absolute perfection is an unattainable goal. Let it go and move on.
If it is a major issue, take it up with the responsible party after the wedding. But your wedding day is a day for making memories and enjoying the people you love. Not for yelling at the banquet captain.
Avoid it all- Hire a coordinator!
A good coordinator will be able to help you balance it all and act as a buffer and/or “bad guy” to your “good bride” with your friends and family. They are advisor and advocate for you and your event.
This should be you on your wedding day: